I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
