I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
