how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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