I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
