Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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