I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
