ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize