How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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