put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
