Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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