2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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