i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
