she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
