So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
