Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
