yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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