i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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