she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
