I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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