There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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