David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
