if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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