clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize