The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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