Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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