forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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