Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
