You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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