I'd wear matching sweaters with you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drunk is not a location!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
