do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
