i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
