Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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