What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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