This girl is more easily done than said...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
