now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
