and next time when you feel me up, do it right
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
