Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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