Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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