the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
