I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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