well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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