I will die if light touches me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
