her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
