How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
