i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
