Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
