Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My hand turned me down
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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