I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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