Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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