tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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