girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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