I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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