Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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