He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
