that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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