if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
