And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
