no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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